– Exclaimed my boss when I explained I couldn’t get to work at 8am because I accidentally left my bag inside my apartment earlier that morning.-
We were celebrating a yearly festival, and I had been carrying my bag the entire night. At a certain point people start pointing out how ridiculous it was for me to carry my bag around town when the party was just outside my building.
After going upstairs to use the bathroom and get more drinks, I decide to leave the bag in the kitchen.
I serve myself a drink and go meet the others just outside my door.
When I try to get back in to get the keys, the door was locked. You see, I have one of those ‘smart’ doors that lock themselves once you leave the house. Fact I didn’t even know because my windows and doors are always wide open. I even sleep with them that way.
But not this time. This time, the one time I close the door so there is space for people to walk around, the one time I leave my bag unattended with the house keys inside, is the one time that I decide to close the door. So I’m locked out, with no clothes to work in, no money to buy clothes to work in, no car keys to get myself to work and on top of it I happened to be wearing a white t-shirt with a black bra under the pouring rain. Not exactly the look that the high-end shop I work for, wants to be associated with.
Oh, but she didn’t believe me. Perhaps because it happens to be one of those weekends everyone begs to have off.
But I wasn’t lying!
“Why do you have to be such a drama queen? You need to take responsibility for your actions.”
So at 6am, I ask my brother for ten bucks, put on a random raincoat someone left at his apt and walk to the main square where the taxis stand. I get to the mall, soaking wet from my thighs down, and looking like a homeless person I walk inside the store.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s all true and here I am.”
She turns to me and stares with awe.
“I’m extremely sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused but if you think I can work like this I will…”
I don’t know when my life became so dramatic… or as I like to think about it… so interesting.
I’m not sure if it was when I flew to another country only to have my boyfriend’s parents tell me I wasn’t part of their son’s life plans.
Or maybe it was when I had a shot of vitamin K administered in the hospital, after losing large amounts of blood thanks to my first time.
Who knows! Either way it’s all been pretty funny. Until now.
Yesterday I woke up to a message from my Italian roommate, concerning my bag.
The bag I accidentally left in Italy.
You see, I had too many bags and I had to leave one. I packed three. Two had my most precious belongings; my jewelry, shoes, my new acquisitions and gifts from my travels; the other one had my winter clothes and stuff I didn’t really care that much about. When coming back from Italy I could only carry 2 of these bags. I couldn’t wait to give everyone their gifts and use my new clothes in sunny Puerto Rico. Of course, once I open my bags I notice I brought the wrong one home… which was ok at the moment because I thought I would go back to live in Rome, or at least to see my friends soon enough and get my bag back.
A message from my roommate Valentina at 4:48am read:
“Call the girls.
They say they’ve found worms inside your bag.
followed at 5:51am by:
Call them now!
I’m scared they’re throwing your stuff away!
WHAT?!?! WORMS IN MY BAG?! What do you mean worms?! Why?!
There was nothing in my bag that would get worms!
Worms?! That’s disgusting! This is ridiculous.
The only edible thing I had in there was tea from Turkey’s Spice Market! 😦 Don’t tell me tea can get worms…
Then my other roommate greets me with the horror story:
She was cleaning the hallway when she saw “unidentifiable objects” coming out of my bag.
When opening it with gloves, she found a whole colony. Or as she likes to call it: a huge family of worms.
“So what did you do? Did you get my stuff out?”
“No! I couldn’t! I was only able to save a pair of black shoes and some pictures that were on the surface… I’m so sorry but it was terrifying.”
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Now I can assure you Turkey has the most expensive tea.
…and this only happens to me.